Date Submitted: 2004-10-18 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. |
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- Aeschylus |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It is easy to be brave from a safe distance. |
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- Aesop |
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Date Submitted: 2004-04-22 |
Submitted By: Drew |
We will win the Stanley Cup this year. |
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-Daniel Alfredsson, 2003-2004 |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? |
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-Woody Allen |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. |
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-Woody Allen |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. |
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-Woody Allen |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. |
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-Woody Allen |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. |
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-Paul Anderson |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. |
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- Aristotle |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-27 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. |
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-Isaac Asimov |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. |
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-Dave Barry |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Now comes the mystery. |
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-Henry Ward Beecher, (1813 - 1887), last words, 8 March 1887. |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.
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-Yogi Berra |
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Date Submitted: 2004-08-30 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. |
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-Napolean Bonaparte |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. |
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- Bradley, Bradley's Bromide |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
"I have to run for 25 minutes! Do you know how long that is?!"
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-Tyler Brown |
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Date Submitted: 2004-08-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Nothing proves existence like a pitchfork in the face. |
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-Tyler Brown, Discussing fuckwit named Descartes |
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Date Submitted: 2004-11-12 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It's only a person, there are lots of them around. |
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-Tyler Brown |
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Date Submitted: 2005-02-03 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It will give me something to annoy me after im done school |
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-Tyler Brown, Speaking of future employment |
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Date Submitted: 2005-04-29 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
That which is right in front of you will fill your vision |
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-Tyler Brown |
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Date Submitted: 2005-10-15 |
Submitted By: Dustin Cook |
Your domain name should be; dustinneedsmoneytokeepskiingyoucheapbitches.com |
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-Tyler Brown |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
I liked 18 year old girls when I was 18, why would it be any different now? |
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-George Burns |
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Date Submitted: 2004-04-06 |
Submitted By: Alanna |
With friends like you, who needs friends? |
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-Dirk Calloway, Rushmore |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. |
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-Albert Camus |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool. |
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-Albert Camus |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. |
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-George Carlin |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Drew |
There's something I like about the clitoris, but I can't quite put my finger on it. |
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-George Carlin |
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Date Submitted: 2004-04-05 |
Submitted By: The Westboro Kid |
You never see any really old midgets. I guess their lifespans are shorter too. |
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-George Carlin |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-27 |
Submitted By: Drew |
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. |
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-George Carlin |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Powers |
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. |
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-George Washington Carver |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter. |
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-Sir Winston Churchill |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-06 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. |
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-Sir Winston Churchill |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like. |
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-Jean Cocteau |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts. |
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- Colette |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-22 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. |
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-Quentin Crisp |
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Date Submitted: 2004-04-05 |
Submitted By: Mark |
Everyone's a little queer - why can't she be a little straight? |
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-Rivers Cuomo |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
If we lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name. |
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-Moshe Dayan, Israeli General |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? |
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-George Deacon |
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Date Submitted: 2005-01-28 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Dream as though you'll live forever; live as though you'll die today. |
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-James Dean |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. |
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- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles |
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Date Submitted: 2004-10-01 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. |
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-Nick Diamos |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. |
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-E.W. Dijkstra |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. |
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-Walt Disney |
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Date Submitted: 2004-10-01 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. |
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-Will Durant |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
Never judge a book by it's movie. |
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-J.W. Eagen |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. |
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-Dave Edison |
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Date Submitted: 2004-08-30 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. |
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-Thomas Edison |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. |
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-Albert Einstein |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Powers |
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. |
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-Albert Einstein |
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Date Submitted: 2005-06-27 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
A clever person solves a problem.
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-Albert Einstein |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Powers |
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. |
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-Paul Erdos |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. |
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-WC Fields |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-06 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. |
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-Paul Fix |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous. |
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-Henry Ford |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow. |
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-Vincent T. Foss |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. |
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-Anatole France |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Dustin |
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. |
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-Brendan Francis |
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Date Submitted: 2005-03-09 |
Submitted By: Greg |
When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman get up, people look. Then, if they like what they see, they listen. |
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-Pauline Frederick |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
I always admired atheists. I think it takes a lot of faith. |
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-Diane Frolov |
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