Date Submitted: 2005-01-11 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It's not cheating if she looks like a pornstar. It's essentially the same as whacking off to porn. |
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-Brian G |
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Date Submitted: 2005-06-01 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Meh, I am allowed bitterness at times. This is a time. |
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-Seb Gauthier |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. |
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-Mahatma Ghandi |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: Animals have instincts, we have taxes. |
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-Erving Goffman |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. |
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- Hagar the Horrible |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-31 |
Submitted By: Mark |
If a tree falls in the woods, and it hits a mime...does anybody care? |
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-Jack Handey |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-31 |
Submitted By: Mark |
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. |
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-Jack Handey |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-27 |
Submitted By: d-money |
Yeah, you could definately pull the second one, definately. I don't think you could drop off Mt Everest though, like he did. |
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-Aexander Harley |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest. |
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-William Hazlitt |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. |
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-Bob Hope |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them |
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-Kin Hubbard |
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Date Submitted: 2004-09-25 |
Submitted By: Karen |
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar! |
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-Helen Keller |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-19 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important. |
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-Martin Luther King Jr. |
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Date Submitted: 2004-10-01 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. |
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-Henry Kissinger |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
When armies are mobilized and issues are joined,
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- Lao-tzu |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. |
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-Stephen Leacock |
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Date Submitted: 2004-07-06 |
Submitted By: |
My favorite animal is steak. |
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-Fran Lebowitz |
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Date Submitted: 2004-06-09 |
Submitted By: Tristan |
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. |
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-John Lennon |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? |
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-Jay Leno |
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Date Submitted: 2004-08-07 |
Submitted By: Justin |
Man's final conquest has proved to be the abolition of Man. |
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-CS Lewis |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. |
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-Abraham Lincoln |
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Date Submitted: 2004-05-23 |
Submitted By: Tyler |
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? |
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-Vince Lombardi |
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